Listening! The critical communication skills

All through 4 years of Btech at IIT Bombay, communication skill seemed one thing that would make or break ones career. Everyone acknowledged its importance, but no one seemed to do anything about it. It seems people didn't do anything about it because all of us had a very narrow view of communication skill. Communication skill was associated with speaking good, fluent, and continuous English. The core was speaking. Sure speaking is the core when one is giving a lecture or a speech. But interaction with individual or a group is a two way activity, in which listening is as important as speaking.

Everyone consciously appreciate the importance of listening in effective communication. The gurus such as stephen covey have emphasized on listening being imperative to effective communication. But I have come across no one who puts in some efforts and time in order to improve his listening ability. Of course their are people with excellent listening ability but even they have built their ability over a period of time and experience. Their seems to be no exercise or academic program that can help people improve their listening ability. Why? if listening ability is indeed so important then why I don't find people working on it or people teaching it.

There can be several reasons to it. One could be that people like to talk but no one likes to listen. Another could be the fact that listening is thought to be a choice rather than an ability or practice. Or we just know it is important superficially but we don't understand why is it really important.

So I started examining the importance of listening. Lets me first assume that I am talking to a 5 year old kid and I speak because I want make an impact on listener. To make that impact I convey a thought in my mind. That thought manifests in my mind from all sets of models, information, logic, experience, knowledge, etc. I am carrying in my mind. Obviously the thoughts seems to be the right message in my frame of mind. Imagine 5 year old kid listening to me. He would use his sets of models, information, logic, experience, etc. etc to interpret what I have said. This where the gap is. The impact will never happen because the two frames of mind can never be same. Larger the gap more skewed will be the reception of the message. To make the intended impact I first have to understand kids frame of mind, then craft my message targeted towards impact I want to make. Which requires excellent listening not excellent speaking.

A guy from an indian village joins an US university and his roommate is an american,
They happen to talk about virginity one night

A: Dude when did you loose virginity
I: I am still a virgin
A: What! seriously.....
I: yes! I am not married
A: You mean to say u are not going to have sex before you get married??? you must be crazy
I: Why whats wrong with that, I don't think not having pre-marital sex is crazy, when did you loose yours
A: When I was 14 (with a smile)
I: My god! Western culture......

Indian ends up thinking that americans don't have any values or character and American ends up thinking Indians are conservative stupids. I am sure that wasn't the message both side intended to exchange.

Don't Swim, just float!

Osho was reluctant to tell people what to do. He preached indulgence. He wanted people to break the barriers of religion, community, etc. and live their life the way they want to. He wanted people to use their unique ability to think and indulge. He didn't want religion and community to dictate life of people. He advocated the fact that each individual is unique and should have the liberty to pursue his own unique journey. Once Osho was forced to give his commandments and one of the things he said was "Don't swim, just float".

"Don't swim, just float" is not only a remarkable statement but also a bold one. Osho was always notorious for making seemingly offensive statements under the existing sets of paradigms, But I found most of them remarkable and thought provoking. It is a common belief that one has to be ambitious, disciplined and hard-working to be successful. And success is the key to happiness. Some how no one has the balls to ask the question "why only success brings happiness?".

To this one can argue ambitious and hardworking people are always worried about the future, instead of indulging in the joy of present. They are always worried about how well they are doing compared to their peers. Right from the childhood people are forced to perform. They have to top in their class, then work hard to clear a competitive examination only to find himself in even more fierce competition. Make more money than all his peers. Worry about the promotions. Having achieved all this he is now supposed to maintain some status and hold onto his power. Given the fact all journeys end at the same point, isn't it better to just float and enjoy what life has to offer on each day.

This is not an appeal to stop swimming :P Perhaps all osho want to say is:

1. Indulging in a joy can't be sinful, Because joy is a gift of nature.

2. If swimming gives you joy then swim, just don't swim because everyone else is swimming or some one is asking you to swim. But if floating gives you joy then there is nothing wrong with floating.

3. Don't be bogged down by the past and don't worry about the future, present is the reality make sure u derive maximum joy out of it .... :)

Breakthrough Innovators

(re-construction of something I read in HBR)

Finding and grooming breakthrough innovators have been the key to successful firms. More often people replicate previous best practices of their seniors or counterparts. But breakthrough innovators don't even rely on their own previous laurels to replicate success.

What do breakthrough innovators look like:

• High cognitive ability, and analytical skill
• Ability to focus on important data and separate it from peripheral issues attached to it.
• Restless and never content with their success. (Creative envy)
• Ridiculously socially aware of their surroundings at all times.eg: someone who able to walk into a meeting full of customers, investors, bosses, vendors, workers and quickly discern each ones motivation.
• Persuasive and charming
• Ability to garner organizational support for an innovative idea which might sound obscure to everyone else.
• Extremely curious
• They are efficient in managing tension between their independent mind and their social engagement with colleagues

By definition an innovator must access resources and recombine ideas in ways that are unfamiliar to the organization. Doing so moving beyond the conventional boundaries and safety of the existing position ,which can be a lonely experience. At the same time innovators must be able to bring the knowledge they have gained back to traditional hierarchies , which can be frustrating. After reading this article the first name that came to my mind is Steve jobs , I wonder if Apple would find his replacement.